Deadbeat Motel

Last night a strange dream took hold somewhere between my ears. It was late and I was tired, driving somewhere in the rain, and looking to park my dads car. In an industrial area or a deadbeat motel, I found an empty spot and began to reverse park, when for some reason I decided to slam it in first gear and ram into a nearby car. I vividly recall the impact and hugely exaggerated damage to the front-end of the car. Then I woke up feeling like I had to explain to my dad why his car was wrecked, but thankfully it was just a weird dream.

Despite all my commitment and dedication to the currently named Dirty Safes band, I had no reasonable option left but to quit and move on. It's been several days since this decision, but perhaps the thoughts percolating around above my neck brought on the strange dream. It's a sad day to know that the end has come to something that I've worked so long and hard on, but my patience ran out on the viability of a band that always finds a reason to not get out and play shows, or get things together to record/finish recording multi-tracked songs. These frustrations boiled over recently and after expressing them, some long-held criticisms came out that left me feeling unwelcome in a project I'd founded and fuelled for so long. I wish them the best of luck, but have little faith in their ability to manage all the things necessary for a band other than the songs themselves. If a band plays a song in the middle of an isolated forest and nobody hears, what's the point? I'll miss the good times, be glad to be rid of the headaches, and am relieved to be back steering my own ship.

Quit and Slingshot

The trials of returning to the daily grind after a month abroad have started to take their toll. Doing the same old, same old again just doesn't have me sold. Toronto is a nice place, but I've seen so much of it, and am ready to dive into a new world. I'm only young once, and youth doesn't last forever.

Three main possibilities compete for achievement:
-Work and live in Germany on a youth mobility visa (and get to Goethe institute level A1 before departure)
-Meet my brother in either Vietnam or India for Christmas and then travel around for about a year (or as long as money lasts).
-Travel around in Southeast Asia for a bit, then take on work as an English teacher (and teach kids how to rock out in ball hockey)

Doing any of these things requires moving back in with my parents for a few months as a grown man, but the hit to my pride is well worth the subsequent boost. I think of it like a slingshot, pulling back somewhat in order to move drastically forward.