Perhaps it will not be surprising to hear that despite my vague intentions of leaving Seville, after an interesting morning conversation with yet another different person I decided to extend my visit for another night. The intention to leave has more to do with a feeling of obligation to try and see as much as possible in the short amount of time available, moreso than any particular desire to be away from here.
With the help of some stories and ideas of a young Danish man my mind has been working in ways that back home it often does not. I was often asked my reasons for quitting my job in order to go travelling and it has always been difficult for me to explain. Some friends mock me and say that I did it to "find myself" which is not true. I know myself quite well by now, but what I wish to do is improve myself and the world around me. The simple answer that a young German girl gave the other night when asked the common question of what she wished to do with her life was met with some amount of ridicule by some in the discussion who felt the answer too vague and naive. It sounds terribly cliche to say that you wish to 'save the world' as a life objective. It is certainly an imprecise thing to say, but it surely as a general goal it should be celebrated to hear of belief in the possibility that the world as it is needs improvement.
Defining exactly what it means to 'save the world' is a difficult and moralistic question, but an extremely important and personal thing to do. I am finally coming to clairfy to myself my reasons for travelling and leaving behind my old life, and this concept of saving the world is essentially at the heart of my motivation. Of course I don't believe that I will be able to steer the direction of humanity in any massive way, but if it were possible to help spread the campsite rule, perhaps what small differences I can accomplish will bring about deeper spiritual and social satisfaction. The campsite rule is the idea that you must always leave a situation in better shape than you found it. It is an imperfect philosophy (good or bad is not a universal thing), but a very good guiding principle. Life is inherently flawed, but accepting that as a fact will bring us all closer to perfection.
The more we race ahead with technolgy that allows us to dominate that natural world, the more we risk losing sight of what life is. I have often been amazed in my travels how little material wealth seems to be related to spiritual and social happiness. Technology that allows us to build walls to protect ourselves and computer networks to connect us in many ways essentially achieve the opposite of the intended effect.
It is imporant to challenge ourselves to improve and to think about what improvement means. At this point in my life it has been a tremendous improvement to cut off my financial pipeline and to leave behind most of my possessions and all the people I have grown to know and love because stepping out of your own personal comfort zone is the best way to challenge yourself to improve. Those who are truely friends will always do what it takes to maintain the bonds between us no matter where we find ourselves. It is not running away but stepping forwards.
In my conversation with the bright and positive Danish man he told me a story about how when one of his closest friends acted human by being scared and talking about his thoughts of making a stupid decision, he would punch him in the face. This kind of violence is not my way of doing things, but I believe it is what Roland Barthes calls a 'punctum' in reference to photography. This sharp action stimulates thought and carries with it the ability to make change. A slap to the face is a violent act, but it also carries with it the ability to wake someone up without neccessarily causing any permanent damage. I am not a supporter of senseless violence, but in the way he described it, in specific situations and carried out well, a slap carrying minor pain is far superior to allowing selfish and scared humans to cause far greater pain and suffering. Perhaps I believe that some of my friends and the world in general would not be so bad off to receive a wake up slap in order to wake us from the comfortable semi-sleep state that modern technology has allowed us to inhabit.
Commernts are welcomed and encouraged.
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